Life's Too Short

I care faaaaar too much about what other people think of me.

And more often than not, my perceptions of what other people think of me are a far cry from what they actually do.

I need to lighten up a bit.

Do my own thing.

Find my passion.

No excuses, no explanations.

Stop Deferring Your Happiness

This week has been about getting back on track. Setting a daily schedule. Doing things I've put off or just been too afraid/intimidated to do: ie. join a gym. Refocusing.
Today, my "jolly green giant" (6ft 5in, college student, should be a linebacker) cousin posted this link on his Facebook and I just had to share.

To boil it all down, here's what struck me, and I'm basically preaching to myself on these and being brutally honest:

1. Don't defer your happiness. This is a BIG one for me personally. I seem to always say to myself "When I move", "when I have this certain possession" or "when I have this job" then I'll be content. I thougth my life would be complete if I reached the "promised land" of any other state but PA. Now I know (and have always heard said) f you're waiting for that big break, that perfect relationship, that perfect circumstance to make you happy, you'll never be happy. Even if you get all you dreamed of, it still won't fulfill you because you'll always be wishing and dreaming for the next big thing. A personal relationship with Jesus is the only way to true fulfillment.

2. People everywhere want the same things: love, understanding, acceptance, and humanity. Peel away all their ethnic, social, and cultural differences and that's what you have. We're all human, after all. So easy to forget.

3. Possessions tie you down to too many things. Big houses full of expensive but meaningless possessions have a way of draining you of life, adventure and vitality. You lose your freedom to piles of stuff, tons of crushing debt, and mental and emotional turmoil from thinking you have to "keep up with the Joneses. I feel this in my own life and would love to simplify. I love the idea of MINIMALISM and read blogs on this topic frequently: Becoming Minimalist, Miss Minimalist, Zen Habits, and my favorite Be More With Less.

4. Stop watching so much TV and wasting time on the internet. I do this all the time. No wonder it seems hard for me to forge genuine friendships. I'm not brave enough to venture out of my own house to meet new people or experience new things. I live vicariously through awesome but totally unrealistic television characters.

So as this new week begins, these will be the things I will be ruminating on. Simplifying life, logging off the internet, loving others, and trying to find happiness in the moment I'm in and relying on Jesus every step of the way!

(and you never know, I might finally get that tattoo or piercing this weekend!)

Transitions

I admit, I've been having a tough time transitioning and adjusting to living here in Denver.

Not because of the city. Not because of the people. But because I'M SCARED. Homesickness has been overwhelming the past few days. It's not that I particularly miss anything or anyone, but I miss the familiarity of it all. Knowing my place, my schedule, and what is expected of me. Of "knowing" what tomorrow holds.

So many times the past few days I have wanted to load my car up and head for home. To give up after just three weeks. And to what aim? Living with my parents again? Being stuck in a job with no motivation to do my work? I know that if I hadn't left when I did, I probably would never have left. I would becme a miserable old lady with too many regrets to count. I would despise myself for never stepping out in faith and seeing what my life could become outside the confines of my small, safe little world.

In self-examination, I have realized that I have never worked hard for anything before. Never gave something my all - my blood, sweat and tears.  I want to PERSEVERE, to FOLLOW THROUGH and to DEPEND ON GOD.

The Lord has graciously provided me a great job with some really interesting and challenging people. But yet --- here it comes --- I'M SCARED. Afraid that I won't be good enough, that I'll let myself and others down, that I'll be fired, or that I'll really mess something up.

But then sermons come along, like the one Pastor Barry from Calvary Temple preached last Sunday, that remind me of who I am IN CHRIST, that:

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH.

Philippians 4:13

And so I will stay in CO until the Lord moves me. He led me here, He has great things to teach me through all of this. Someday, I have no doubt, I will look back and say "there was a reason for all of the struggle, the heartache, and the homesickness."

Through Him, I will persevere!

Amen.

We're Not A Mystery to You

Remember how I said I wanted to use this blog as an outlet for honesty? Here goes...

Right now I'm scared. I've never been without a job before, and although I've only been in Denver a week, it feels like an eternity. Not having the stability of regular employment is throwing me for a humongous loop. That's why this song has been on continuous playback in my car lately. I love the truths of God's word and God's attributes expressed in it.

When I'm feeling like the world's out of control, I can remember that the Lord is in control. He holds everything together!

When I feel like the Lord hasn't provided everything for me in the time frame that I WANT, I can remember that He has my best interests at heart!

When the loneliness and unfamiliarity of a new place and new people makes my heart ache, I can remember that He loves me and is always with me no matter what!

When I feel like I'm a mystery even to myself, I remember that I'm not a mystery to God - He knows me completely and intimately, and knows the words on my tongue and the thoughts in my head before they even come to fruition!

So even if you're not going through the same things as me, please take the time to listen to this song and remember God's truths along with me.

xoxo Erin

A Not-so-Formal Introduction

Hello my friends!

I have been sitting here writing several drafts of what is supposed to be the opening letter of a blog about the year that will change my life - trying to say the perfect words that will make me sound witty, charming, and more exciting and accomplished than I really am...

Right now I want to show the real me. Life is hard enough without having to feel like you have to put on a show for everyone. I can tell you one thing: I promise to share the crazy, exciting, and yes, even boring, parts of my journey to 30 with you. I hope that you will laugh, cheer, and eveny cry along with me! My greatest hope is that this blog brings glory to the One who created me, you, and everything around us and loves us unconditionally.

Thank you for joining me on this journey!

xoxo Erin

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